Hello from Ft. Worth, Texas!

You know, it’s not such a bad thing to spend an entire day listening to Susan Johnson, the creator and brainchild behind Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Johnson is a genius and master therapist, yet she is engaging and funny to listen to. One thing I’ve gotten from her so far today is that she believes most relational problems are due to attachment issues, and that if we can get our relationships to a point where both individuals feel safe with the other, then magic can happen. I do agree that if we boil it all down, Johnson’s mantra that, "What we all need is to know that you’re going to be there for me," is vital. She says that humans have been in a trend of isolating and going it alone, and this creates health problems, misery, and shortened lives.

"We all need one or two humans in the world to care about us," she says. "We each need to know that we can reach out a hand to one or two people on the planet who will take it and squeeze back."

That, she says, is the key to thriving physically, mentally, and emotionally.

So … do you all have that one or two humans on the planet that you can touch and who will be there for you?? When fighting life’s dangers and pitfalls, knowing someone else is there for you means the difference of having a will to fight .. otherwise, what’s the use?

Stay tuned for more live comments from Ft. Worth!!

Shana was a doctoral student with me several years ago, and knows her stuff when it comes to psychological issues. Here’s her comment about the letter below from "S":

Becky baby.. i read your blog!

Something is definitely up with that guy…i wonder.. does he take any kind of medication?

I know certain beta blockers can cause depression..

Shana

Dear Shana baby,

I’ll write "S" an email and ask her about her husband’s meds .. . together we’ll solve this mystery! Stay tuned …

Becky
 

Hot off the press … tonight I received this email from a woman who has a very interesting problem and needs help. I thought I would pose it here for you to see, and see if anyone has any ideas or suggestions. As always, I’ll provide my own thoughts in the coming hours and days …

Doctor Becky,
 
I am a  45-year-old  mother of two wonderful teen age boys. My husband is 49, and not the same man I married. He used to be active and fun, but he is becoming  more critical and sarcastic all the time. I can’t remember a time recently when he laughed with our family.  He snaps and barks out of the blue, and his comments offend others.  He has added about 50 pounds to his frame in the last few years, and doesn’t like to exercise to lose the weight.  
 
One of my friends says it sounds like male menopause. What’s  that?
 
He won’t see a doctor for his health or a counselor for his moods, because he thinks he is always right these days. Instead of apologizing for his comments, he says,  "You shouldn’t have taken it that way." 
 
And more importantly, how can I  help my two caring, big-hearted sons to stay the way they are, and not follow the example of their dad when they begin dating relationships?

S