Doctor Becky Whetstone
Becky Whetstone is an Arkansas native and has a Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy from St. Mary’s University in San Antonio, Texas. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in Arkansas, and has an LMFT licenses in Texas, and an LPC being renewed. All of her licenses are in her married name, Becky Whetstone Cheairs. Speaking of Arkansas, Becky was born in El Dorado, a town in the south central part of the state, moved to Little Rock with her family when she was 10, and graduated from Parkview High School in 1976. In 1984 she moved to San Antonio where she lived and worked for 26 years. In December 2011 she moved to Arkansas to be near family, and Becky opened her Little Rock practice in January 2012. Becky only sees clients in Arkansas and Texas via Zoom. For clients outside Arkansas and Texas, she sees them via Zoom as a life coach.
In the Spring of 2024, Doctor Becky signed with HCI Books to have I (THINK) I Want Out, What to Do When One of You Wants to End Your Marriage, published in the winter of 2025. Becky has worked the past two years writing it and hopes to change the way we approach marriage crises, separation, and divorce in our culture. “It is a dream come true to put this work out there,” says Becky.
Many San Antonians are familiar with Becky’s work as a journalist. Interested in relationships and psychological issues for as long as she can remember, Becky’s dream since childhood was to replace famed advice columnist Ann Landers when the writer would eventually retire. To prepare, Becky began to read about and study relationship issues, beginning from childhood, and even while going to school at the George Washington University in Washington, D.C.
Casey Marie Whetstone Schmidt with Becky’s mom (and her Grandma) on a visit to Arkansas. Becky’s mom died at age 101 in Nov 2020.
In 1980 Becky graduated with a BA in Journalism from GWU, and in 1984 moved to Texas and became a housewife and mother. In the early 1990’s, she plunged into journalism when she interned at the San Antonio CBS affiliate KENS TV as a medical reporter. Soon after she began freelancing for the San Antonio Express-News. She was hired there in 1994 as a features writer, and in 1996 began writing about relationships in a column that ran in the SA Life section — she was thinking, “Watch out Ann Landers!” While writing the column, Becky created an area-wide phenomenon called the Singles Revolution dedicated to professional singles who were seeking to have healthy relationships. She convened get-togethers that backed up traffic in San Antonio’s Quarry shopping center, and facilitated a singles volunteer force that cleaned up and remodeled a deteriorating playground at a local San Antonio elementary school. While Becky spoke to singles about how to have a better life, she also wrote about her own life as a single mother, and about the lives of many south Texans — married, gay, families, step families, seniors — who wanted to have better relationships with themselves and others. Only now, looking back, Becky believes her column was the FIRST of the Sex and the City genre that became so popular almost 10 years later. Luckily, today she writes a blog that you can find here on this web site under the blog heading, and she publishes blog articles on the Huffington Post. It’s just all part of Becky’s plan for everyone to have access to great relationship information.
In 1998 Becky left the paper and began writing a column for the North San Antonio Times. She also began discussing relationships on the NBC affiliate KMOL’s San Antonio Living Show with then-host Tanji Patton, as well as the am radio news talk station, WOAI 1200. As more and more people in south Texas began to turn to Becky for relationship advice, she felt the need to bring more depth to what she knew and to expand her knowledge, so in 2001 she entered graduate school. In 2002 she began seeing clients as a therapist, and in 2003 Becky received her Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from St. Mary’s University. After graduation she entered the doctoral program there, and graduated with a Ph.D. in 2006 – this achievement was one of the most challenging of her life. Her dissertation research was an investigation of how individuals in long-term marriages (10-years or longer) decide to divorce. The information she learned during this extensive research project changed the way Becky views courtship, marriage, and divorce, and serves to make her even more passionate about helping people have healthy relationships.
Since 2001 Becky has worked at various clinics and agencies, including the Family Violence Prevention Center where she worked with women who were in abusive relationships. In the spring of 2006 she opened her private practice where she works with individuals, couples, and families. In addition to counseling, Becky has been an adjunct professor of psychology at Northwest Vista College, in the graduate school counseling department at St. Mary’s University, and in the spring of 2008 at Texas State University in San Marcos, Texas, and has served as a board-approved adjunct professor at San Antonio College. With all of this academic experience it’s probably obvious that Becky enjoys teaching. In addition to teaching, she has served as a counseling supervisor to recent graduates of counseling who were working toward their professional counseling license as well as doctoral students in need of counseling supervision.
Proud mom Becky Whetstone and her children, Benjamin and Casey. This photo was taken in Aug 2011 when Benjamin was on leave from the Marines before being deployed to Afghanistan. Unfortunately this is the last photo taken of Becky and both of her children, as Benjamin was killed in action on October 6th, 2011. He was a Marine sniper, and Casey recently graduated from college in San Antonio and enjoys crafts, writing, rescuing and fostering animals and an obsession with her cats, which her mother is allergic to.
Becky’s areas of interest are in personal growth, trauma, how humans select mates, the courtship process, the agony of the divorce decision, grief, and divorce recovery. She has spent thousands of hours studying and researching these subjects, and continues to expand her knowledge in these areas. She is currently writing an extensive book about marital crisis, separation, divorce and healing that is almost finished! Stay tuned for that!
For years as a single mother Becky raised two precious children, daughter Casey Marie, born in 1990 and who lives in San Antonio, and son Benjamin. Unfortunately, Becky mourns the tragic death of her beloved son, who was born in July 1987 and joined the United States Marines in 2008 and became a Lance Corporal and Marine Scout Sniper. Sadly he was killed in action in Afghanistan on October 6, 2011 in a tragic accident, just 7 months before his 4-year commitment in the Marines was to end. Although this is the most devastating thing that Becky has ever experienced, and she still struggles with a broken heart and missing her son, she strongly feels that working through emotional pain such as this builds compassion and wisdom and can only help her more deeply connect with her clients. It is also helpful to Becky knowing that her son Benjamin was her biggest fan and turned to her often for personal and relationship advice. As a tribute she manages a memorial Facebook page (all are welcome, so join us there – LCpl Benjamin Whetstone Schmidt. Beloved friend, son, fallen hero – in his honor and sometimes produces videos about his life: “It keeps him alive for me,” Becky says. “It keeps him in our minds and hearts.”
When times are tough, it is helpful to have a healthy person to lean. Becky is fortunate to share a very loving, happy marriage to John Cheairs, who is a retired anesthesiologist.
Doctor Becky and husband John Cheairs. He recently helped her cut her hair, and cut most of it off! Amazingly, she loves it.
When it comes to hobbies, Becky and her husband spend a lot of time in nature in their weekend home on the Little Red River in Heber Springs, Ark, love gardening, cooking, hiking, biking, woodworking, knitting, nature – fly fishing (John) kayaking, canoeing (always take her outdoors!), writing, painting (walls and art) and a variety of creative endeavors such as photography, furniture refinishing, and producing videos. For more information email Becky at: becky@doctorbecky.com.
