I find it worrisome that you look down your nose at me and my thinking because, why? It doesn’t align with yours?

I did not miss the point of the story, and comparing it to the marriage situation you describe is off, as they are not remotely similar.

I believe AirBNB has the right to do as they please in regards to accepting or denying guests, for better or worse. If the public doesn’t like their policies then go elsewhere.

My opinion is as valid as yours, however many on this thread say there can only be one conclusion, and if one doesn’t come to that conclusion they’re an idiot. I disagree with all of this. Thanks for trying, but there is no need to explain it to me, I already get it, and stand by what I said.

Becky

https://doctorbecky.com/2018/07/27/i-find-it-worrisome-that-you-look-down-your-nose-at-me-and-my-thinking-because-why-53e9c24287e0/

Hi Martin,

Thanks for responding to my comment. I am looking at this from a therapist’s point-of-view, no doubt. One of the biggest problems I see in my practice is people not accurately interpreting and perceiving information, and also putting a meaning about something together without a shred of evidence to prove their story. This phenomenon is rampant, and close to 90%+ of people have this issue, I’d guess-timate. So when you say “everyone else said it happened to them,” I am skeptical of their reality and meaning making, in addition to the author’s. I also know from my work that people will deny having any part of a situation that didn’t turn out well for them, and afterward concoct a story where they are the hero, the offender is the villain, of course, and the story dictates that the hero was treated cruelly and without cause. (Surely you have heard your friends give you the short version of their divorce.) So I am skeptical of this story, and had I read all of the comments, I would also have been skeptical of theirs.

I feel certain that this action, by Air BNB, did not occur out-of-the blue. Many of the commenters say they will not use Air BNB after reading about such nasty treatment. If you knew how many people are nutty and difficult out there, you might better understand their death penalty policy. They aren’t wanting to deal with the nutty and difficult people, so they accept the sacrifice of losing some of the ones who were truly ill-treated. Who has the time and resources to investigate every cases? I am imagining they are taking the path that saves them the most time, erring on the side of the reporter or hosts, as without our beautiful places and helpful hosting, they would not exist.

One sign that someone might very well be nutty and difficult is watching them in the aftermath — protesting from the rooftops in a punitive way to anyone who will listen — negative reviews, blog articles, blah, blah. This isn’t a deadly shooting or anything of such import, it’s just the loss of something that can easily be replaced with other apps and organizations. Making a huge damn deal of a little damn deal says a lot, in my opinion. Still I don’t know the truth, so I can’t say the blog author is wrong, I can just say I am skeptical of the story.

If it happened to me, I would write it off as a learning experience and find another place to stay.

Becky

https://doctorbecky.com/2018/07/18/hi-martin-15f633640083/

Hi, for what it’s worth, I’m an Air BNB Super Host, so I’m familiar with the whole way it works.

There is no way a person reading your article can know the truth, as your story is yours, and the other sides to the tale aren’t told (by them). What catches my attention, however, is the many ways, and the tremendous effort you have put into telling your side, to achieve what? Injury to the other parties, perhaps? Revenge?

I have had great experiences with my guests, and have written only one negative review, and he too claimed to be clueless as to how he’d been a less than great guest. I gave him a long list; half-eaten food and bulging trash bags left piled around, no beds stripped as requested, no towels put in one place like we ask (it helps us find every towel, every sheet). Dirty dishes in the sink. it took us three times longer to clean after he left than any other guest. My thought about guests are, they need to treat your place as if they are staying at a good friend’s house, with extraordinary respect and care.

So your host made a mistake, why couldn’t you just be gracious and respectful and move on? I’m a therapist in my day job, and clients tell me stories all the time. I’ve learned that if the story doesn’t make sense, they’re leaving something out. Your story doesn’t make sense. Air BNB kicked you out because of no good reason?

What would make sense is if your reaction and response to your host was too intense, your protesting done in a scary way, which the host would report, and probably suggest that Air BNB not risk having you stay in their venues anymore. What would make sense is that Air BNB saw you as high-risk, a potential troublemaker.

I think the fact that you took your case to other web sites and posted the story again and again speaks to the fact that there is something in you that has to be right, and you have to be the victim here. You will not, or cannot see their point-of-view, and that in itself is dangerous.

There is a very common defense mechanism we see in the therapy room, it’s called, “Offending from the victim position.” This is when someone, who has clearly done something wrong, somehow manages to turn the tables on the person they wronged, while playing victim at the same time. I think that may be what’s going on here.

https://doctorbecky.com/2018/07/15/hi-for-what-it-s-worth-i-m-an-air-bnb-super-host-so-i-m-familiar-with-the-whole-way-it-works-e9a1b485d9/