Shana was a doctoral student with me several years ago, and knows her stuff when it comes to psychological issues. Here’s her comment about the letter below from "S":

Becky baby.. i read your blog!

Something is definitely up with that guy…i wonder.. does he take any kind of medication?

I know certain beta blockers can cause depression..

Shana

Dear Shana baby,

I’ll write "S" an email and ask her about her husband’s meds .. . together we’ll solve this mystery! Stay tuned …

Becky
 

Hot off the press … tonight I received this email from a woman who has a very interesting problem and needs help. I thought I would pose it here for you to see, and see if anyone has any ideas or suggestions. As always, I’ll provide my own thoughts in the coming hours and days …

Doctor Becky,
 
I am a  45-year-old  mother of two wonderful teen age boys. My husband is 49, and not the same man I married. He used to be active and fun, but he is becoming  more critical and sarcastic all the time. I can’t remember a time recently when he laughed with our family.  He snaps and barks out of the blue, and his comments offend others.  He has added about 50 pounds to his frame in the last few years, and doesn’t like to exercise to lose the weight.  
 
One of my friends says it sounds like male menopause. What’s  that?
 
He won’t see a doctor for his health or a counselor for his moods, because he thinks he is always right these days. Instead of apologizing for his comments, he says,  "You shouldn’t have taken it that way." 
 
And more importantly, how can I  help my two caring, big-hearted sons to stay the way they are, and not follow the example of their dad when they begin dating relationships?

S
 
 

Hello Readers …

Well, it had to happen. One man read what I wrote about many men being emotionally unavailable, and responded angrily via email at becky@doctorbecky.com. Here’s what he said:

Dear Doctor Becky,

Are you kidding me?? I just read what you wrote in your "men asking for help" (blog) column. OK, I admit most of us have that issue … BUT … has anyone told you how emotionally unavailable women are?? Dear Lord!! Maybe with so many of us men and women being unable to hook up (I suppose it is because we’re off in emotional outer space) then maybe it’s God’s way of  ending humanity as we know it. What do you think about that?

Signed,

Tom in D.C.

Dear Tom,

Wow, what a thought-provoking missive you have sent my way. Thanks for writing. Now, let’s get to it …

Uh … well, I’d like to think that whatever person’s spiritual beliefs (or not), people who think about things like this such as scientists, religious folk, and whoever is left, might be able to agree that humans are probably not meant to isolate and be alone. In fact, I think it’s pretty common knowledge among sociologists and others who study too much that humans thrive when they have human connection, and don’t when they don’t. Humans are like plants and need water and sunlight, and if you put the plant in a closet and ignore it, it will die.

Now, as far as women go, yes, yes, many are emotionally unavailable, and I’d like to help my gender with that as I’d like to help men because I believe we all thrive and are happiest when we have human connection. Stay tuned here and I will address the HUMAN condition of withdrawing and isolating due to painful life experiences … and stay in touch!

Dr. B