Home Archives for Becky Whetstone
June 11, 2014

We ain’t ashamed to say it — families are traveling and kids are out of school, so most therapist offices have slower traffic than usual in the summer. To encourage you to come in and do the work you know you need, try this:

  • Book three 55-minute sessions in 30 days and your 4th session is free: $480.*
  • Book every-other-week sessions for 10 weeks (5 sessions total) and get your last session free:  $640.*

*If you are a new client the initial intake is required in addition to the 55-minute sessions. With the summer discount, the initial individual and couple’s intakes are 10% off – $225 and $270 respectively. Also, sessions, including the intake,100_angerpic must be taken within the time period specified or discount does not apply.

Help-you-out discount: Available all year long – Becky believes every therapist should offer lower cost options for clients. Some offer sliding scale fees, but Becky does it another way so that every person has access to it. The lower-cost appointments are on Wednesdays, on a first-come, first-served basis and by request only. The appointment must begin between 10am and 2 pm. 90 minute intakes: $200, two-hour couples’ sessions are $250. Individual, couples, and families’ 55-minute sessions $140. See you on Wednesdays!

QUANTITY DISCOUNTS – Some clients like to pay for sessions in advance to reassure themselves, and/or hold themselves accountable to a continuing therapeutic process. For this, Becky offers two options:

10 sessions – Ten 55-minute sessions for everyone — $1500. Advance non-refundable payment required.

 

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She’s baaack! New Web site, new blog …
May 13, 2013

It’s been quite a while since I’ve written in this space, and I’ve missed it.  Though the time seems right to return, it’s not as easy to do it as I’d hoped – I guess I’m rusty, but that’s part of The Struggle of life, right? The happy news is that although I walked away from blogging for a long while, I have returned to this medium that I love, which makes me wonder, what things have YOU put aside that YOU truly enjoy?

So here I am, having learned a lot in the last four years, both professionally and personally. Changes and challenges have occupied my heart, mind, and time, and to show you what I mean, here’s a look at just a few: I’ve closed my thriving San Antonio, Texas therapy practice and moved to my home state of Arkansas to be near my family and boyfriend. Moving, of course, meant applying for a Marriage & Family Therapy license in Arkansas, and that was a demanding 14-month process – ugh!

And a move … even when a happy choice, is stressful and expensive. I went from years of owning a comfortable single mom home in Texas to storing most of my belongings and living alone in a rental property in Little Rock … this limbo period brought a feeling of being unsettled.

Add to that the tragic death of my beloved and adored Marine scout sniper son, Benjamin, in Afghanistan in October 2011. This is the most profound life-changing event that words cannot adequately describe. It is heartbreaking and something I think about and process every day. I’m learning to live with the constant ache in my heart, but add to that the differences between factions in the family about my son’s legacy, and The Struggle continues.

I often tell my clients, you can let the events of life bring you down, or you can feel that stress and pain and keep going. In the end, the strong truly do survive and thrive. Many times it helps me to recall one evening in graduate school when a professor talking about Buddhism told our class that when life’s inevitable obstacles present themselves, a Buddhist embraces them with an attitude of thankfulness for all the rich lessons, wisdom, compassion and growth that will surely come from them. I’m working on this one.

So that’s the last few years in a nutshell, and as seasons change so does life.  The boyfriend I talked about above is now my fiance, and I am so happy about it. He is so perfectly matched for me that I feel he was made to order – no, he’s not perfect, just perfect for me. The lessons I’ve learned in 11 years of being single – and patiently alone – I hope to pass on to you. In the months to come he and I will wed and move into a home and life will become settled again, life comes full circle.

My next challenges will be to be the best wife a woman could hope to be, and to keep learning and growing as a therapist so I can bring my clients every possible tool to help them in their own growth process.  Watch here for how this unfolds over the coming months.

And while I passionately love writing about The Struggle, I also love reading and learning from what YOU have to say. I encourage you to share your own Struggles and I will comment if I feel there is something to add.

I really look forward to connecting and growing along with you.

 

Filed Under: News
June 21, 2009

Another question from www.allexperts.com from a woman named Wendy. Poor Wendy … read on … and DO tell me what YOU think …

Subject: The children’s relationship with a soon-to-be ex

Question: Dear Doctor Becky,

My ex and I have two daughters they are now 7 and 9. Our divorce has been final for over two years, my ex was married again in November of 2008, he is now going through another divorce and planning on marrying again as soon as his divorce is final. His new fiance lives on the other side of the country and an old high school friend.  The girls have met her a few times in the past and have had a full day play date with his new fiance recently.  That aside he is demanding an absolute cut off of contact with his soon to be ex.  She loves the girls and they love her.  She was their mother for over a year.  At the advice of a child psychologist I agreed to assist in slowly "weaning" them off step-mom time, and that the visits would be supervised by me for a while and then the only contact would be e-mail or phone and then eventually no contact. After one supervised visit I felt like the odd man out, there was not negative talk about the girls dad…there was so many other things talk about, and the girls soon to be ex step mom (STBESM) is a child psychologist, doctor level.  So a month later, after the girls cried themselves to sleep and called their STBESM saying they wanted a play date; I scheduled a play date I stayed for about 10-15 minutes and then they all went off to CPK for lunch. Two hours later I met them and we sat for 20 more minutes then off we went. The girls were happy and everything was fine.  Once they got to their dad’s and told him he went ballistic and has now forbid them from ever talking to their STBESM when they are with him again.  I understand he wishes to get on with his life and start his next marriage but I worry terribly about what this will do to the girls. I think they need time to end their ties to their STBESM. I feel like we are dealing with two separate issues here and he just can’t see that.  What do I do now? How do I proceed to allow the girls closure, respect their dad, not build abandonment issues, anxiety and just to do the right thing?

Signed,

The Mom!

Answer: Hi Wendy,

My how divorce can weave a tangled mess … what could be a neatly wound up ball of yarn ends up hopelessly snarled, snagged and stuck. And who does it hurt? The kids, of course.

I feel badly that you have to co-parent with this moron of a dad. If I was working with your husband I would instruct him to stop being so selfish and fearful, and to step up and do what it is loving — which is to allow his children the space to love their (former) step mom. What do we teach our kids when we "wean" them off of people who are important to them and who cause them no harm? (It’s so awful to ponder that I think I won’t do it.) Because of geography, I would imagine that in time the kids will wean naturally from the step mom … if so, fine, if not, let them stay in touch for goodness’ sake.

But, from reading your letter, I imagine selfishness is part of who this man is. Why else would he march so many women through his girl’s lives? This, and not allowing them to stay in contact with his ex, will teach them not to attach to important people who come along. By the time they start hanging with the newest one they’ll have the attitude, "Why bother?" It’s all so sad.

If I were you, I would throw out what the psychologist said about weaning them — that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard — as if they are animals or objects and not humans. When the kids are with you, allow them "normal" contact with STBESM … unsupervised visits, phone calls, etc. When they are with their dad, he unfortunately may screw them up any way he likes, so long as it is not considered child abuse. Thankfully he has no say over what the kids do when they are with you, so long as it is not harmful to them.

In an ideal world you and your ex could negotiate and work this out, but he doesn’t sound like someone who compromises. All this acrimony will certainly damage the kids, and for that, shame on him. Your children need as much love, support, and caring as they can get, and should not have to feel guilty about who they love.

I hope this helps — good luck!

Doctor Becky

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