Being emotionally unavailable = Not wanting pain.

All over the United States millions of men and women have had their hearts pilfered and pummeled, and as a result have folded their emotional tents and called romantic connection a day. Each person who does this carefully wraps up his or her heart in mothballs and stores it away in an impenetrable lock box, which is then buried in a location known only to the one done with love. It’s unfortunate, because being emotionally connected is as important to health and well being as exercise, food, sleep and other stuff that brings a person joy like music, fun and frolic.

I must admit as a participant in the dating scene, I have encountered numerous blokes who keep their hearts undercover and are emotionally unavailable (EU), and I’ve come to recognize some of their warning signs:

•    Hasn’t had a serious relationship in a zillion years, if ever.
•    Appears almost everywhere solo, or is seen with women who are also EU.
•    Is seen frequently on the same stool in one or two favorite singles bars.
•    Still pines for that great one that got away (who is now unavailable because she’s happily married, gay, or dead).
•    After enough dates that you think you might care, he says something like, “I think I should tell you I’m not the marrying kind,” or  “I just really enjoy my life on my own, thought you’d want to know," or, my favorite, "Sure we can be friends and hang out and date so long as you have absolutely no expectations and promise not to fall in love."

Gee, thanks. Now you tell me… ugh.

If I had my way, we’d round up all men and women in America who are EU and encourage them to once again come out and play. Of course finding love means taking a risk, but in business and love, the one thing successful people consistently report is that a day came when they had to take a deep breath, put themselves out there and take a chance, and now they’re glad they did. Yes, my friends, taking an intelligent risk can have huge payoffs.

So, life is a struggle, and whether you’re EU or not, pain is unavoidable. If only people understood that in the long run hiding your heart causes more damage than exposing it. If a person can accept these ideas and swim with the flow of life’s of ups and downs rather than against the current, then it can really mean the difference between living and existing.


  1. EU is about control

    After talking to a few friends the past few weeks about relationships, I find that a lot of people are EU do to the control factor. When you are single you can do whatever you want, do things whenever you want and you can do whoever you want.
    They look at being EU as being in control and they don’t see that they are hiding behind the tag of being EU to escape and hide past or future pain

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